Cardboard News Network
Last week it was announced that a strange videocassette containing lost footage of Cardboard*Con 2011 had been found lodged in the intake chute of one of the Cram-A-Lot Self-Contained Trash Compactors (a fancy dumpster) located deep in the bowels of the Atlanta Marriott Marquis. This lost footage is rocking the boxplay world.
Reports are coming out of Atlanta that the venerable boxplay convention Cardboard*Con is mired deep in a controversy surrounding discriminatory practices regarding staff meetings.
According to witnesses, patrons using bubblewrap in their costumes were turned away from an organizing meeting for next year’s event.
This morning the Cardboard*Con Ruling Committee held a press conference during a press conference by Mayor Keisha Lance Bottoms. After being escorted outside the committee issued a statement that the theme for the 2020 Convention would be “Star Trak”. When a reporter from WSB-TV asked if they meant “Star Trek” there was a quick huddle, heated language, a little shoving, and a further announcement that the theme was indeed “Star Trak”.
This morning Cardboard*Con issued a press release expressing their sorrow and condolences for the family of actor Peter Mayhew upon his passing.
Cardboard*Con is saddened to share the news of the death of Peter Mayhew.
Peter gave billions of people great joy in his lifetime and influenced many who work and volunteer at our convention. Cardboard*Con has enjoyed a long history of attendees boxplaying Mayhew’s iconic Star Wars character, Chewbacca.
The pioneer of Cookie boxplay (cardboard wookie cosplay) was by Elliott Boswell, whose boxtume towered at nearly 8 feet tall. Chewboxxa was the most physically accurate boxplay of the beloved character.
In later years Rick Wollnick picked up the mantle, recreating the Cookie in a more compact form, as seen in this photo by Dean Ansley at Dragon*Con in 2013.
Adults and children alike love these lovable renditions, a testament to the acting prowess and gentle humanity of Peter Mayhew.
In Stercore, Peter Mayhew! May your recycling be Marvelous!!
As promised, we’re giving an extra-special shout-out to one of the special guests from our 10th Anniversary Event. Derek Jefferson, author of Homeless Homeboy. Support your local comic book artists!
History may never know who was more surprised when the 10th Annual Cardboard*Con came face to face with famous television chef Alton Brown.
Shortly after 2am in the wee hours of January 5th, 2019, officials from Cardboard*Con gathered to announce to a hushed stall at the Georgia’s Farmers Market that the theme for this year’s Cardboard*Con will be “Generic Cardboard Space Adventure”.
Ace Cardboard News Network reporter Thomas Kerns captured what is believed to be a new commershul being shot by the dimwitted marketing team behind Cardboard*Con.
The photos and videos show a boxplayer outfitted in a dinosaur costume, running through Atlanta’s Piedmont Park. The boxplayer appears to have been tame however, at one point eating peanuts from the hand of a passerby. Speculation is that the theme for this year’s Cardboard*Con will be “Jurassic Park”, based largely on the “offishul” announcement that it would be.
Late last night at the International House of Pancakes the Cardboard*Con Theme Committee announced that this year’s theme would be “Jurassic Box”. They then unveiled, with great solemnity, a poster reading “A Convention 900 Million Years in the Making”.
This year several “representatives” from an organization called the “Footie Mob” interrupted our fan-favorite panel “Cyclical Sales Demand for European Structural Paper Goods”. One mobster, who seemed especially proud of his scarf, began yelling “It would be a shame if something happened to your pretty little convention!!”.
His friend, wearing a soccer boxtume, seemed equally animated, but no one could understand what he was saying due to the box covering his head.