During a contentious pre-planning Zoom meeting for Cardboard*Con 2021, Elon Musk changed cardboard immunology forever. Musk, the self-appointed Director of the non-existent Research & Development Track said “Let’s get back to normal”, then did the unthinkable. Taking advantage of the host’s unfamiliarity with the Zoom interface, Musk proceeded to hijack the meeting. He began sharing his screen and running a 28 minute PowerPoint presentation for a radical new boxplay helmet design he described as a “CoronaBox 19”. While our intrepid CNN reporters were unable to obtain his actual PowerPoint file, they did walk away with a few details and images.
Cardboard*Con released a statement announcing its policy on a coronavirus spreading around the world. The convention’s announcement is presented in full, below.
A new type of coronavirus called COVID-19 is currently sweeping the globe, including Atlanta, home of Cardboard*Con, raising health concerns in the boxplay community.
This morning the Cardboard*Con Ruling Committee held a press conference during a press conference by Mayor Keisha Lance Bottoms. After being escorted outside the committee issued a statement that the theme for the 2020 Convention would be “Star Trak”. When a reporter from WSB-TV asked if they meant “Star Trek” there was a quick huddle, heated language, a little shoving, and a further announcement that the theme was indeed “Star Trak”.
Shortly after 2am in the wee hours of January 5th, 2019, officials from Cardboard*Con gathered to announce to a hushed stall at the Georgia’s Farmers Market that the theme for this year’s Cardboard*Con will be “Generic Cardboard Space Adventure”.
Late last night at the International House of Pancakes the Cardboard*Con Theme Committee announced that this year’s theme would be “Jurassic Box”. They then unveiled, with great solemnity, a poster reading “A Convention 900 Million Years in the Making”.
Emergency responders were forced to disperse a crowd along Piedmont Avenue this morning in a flashmob gone wrong. According to witnesses, a group of dancers wearing cardboard boxes shambled into the crosswalk to perform scenes from the 1978 musical film “Grease”.
Cardboard*Con send us a nice letter today along with a $3 coupon to Applebee’s. From what we can tell this was their way of attempting to purchase our vote for their 7th annual event.
Cardboard*Con made sent another mix tape to us last week along with a note asking us if we’d like to be their date to Senior Prom, but we won’t go unless YOU won’t go. You just might get lucky 😉
Reports are coming in that the Cardboard*Con Party On Committee held a surprise press conference last night in the parking lot of The Pink Pony, an adult dance club located due east of Atlanta’s tony Buckhead neighborhood, which likes to call itself the “Beverly Hills of the East”.
The Cardboard News Network has learned that this year’s Cardboard*Con will be held on Saturday, March 2nd, 2013 beginning at 7:00pm EST.
Attendees will meet at Meehan’s Irish Pub on Peachtree, like last year, and go from there.