The 14th Annual Cardboard*Con begins this evening in Atlanta with its “Oh Hai! Fashun Sho”, and the fashion world is abuzz with expectation. This year, Cardboard*Con’s attendees will focus on high fashion (“hai fashun” in Cardboardese). Rumors are running wild about potential attendees, with badjs to the event so exclusive that no photos have been shared to social media.
The first evidence of this year’s event was an enormous skin covering renovation scaffolding outside the Théâtre de la Ville along the Seine, in Paris.
The electrifying artwork was soon released to social media, and a date was announced on the Official Cardboard*Con website…
In September, the ‘Stravaganza di Moda in Cartone’ was held in the Anfiteatro di Pompeii, to the bewilderment of the Italian fashion houses, who “didn’t know we were doing cardboard this year”.
Forewarned, several young French designers from Chèvres Étoilées sprang into action at the January Fédération de la Haute Couture de la Mode in Paris, raiding the storeroom of a nearby cafe for materials and creating outfits they wore into the exclusive reception in the Dalmatîon Lounge.
Their daring use of expanded do’maj shocked the Jeu de Boîte press, forcing the 2023 Munich Fashion Start to cancel, and the Copenhagen Fashion Week to scuttle the rollout of a new cotton product.
Belgian cardboard, as ususal, has been unobtainable.
Cardboard*Con steps boldly into the fashion gap left by the aging continentals, its 2023 advertisement for the Oh Hai! Fashun Sho dives into the deep end of the fashion pool by announcing a new mode:
ARTIFICIAL CARDBOARD INTELLIGENCE
When asked what “Artificial Cardboard Intelligence” is, famed boxplay designer Albrecht du Boite gestured fiercely with the hand that was not holding a wine glass and simply said “It is something we have never seen before, mon ami”.
“Offishuls” from Cardboard*Con inform us that all will be explained at the after-party for the “fashun sho”, which will be paid for by the recent 25,000% rise in eternal memberships to the event.
We highly doubt that those “offishuls” will be sober by the after party, but we like what we are seeing in the “commershul” for this year’s event.
Take a look!
According to the official press release:
“Attention cardboard enthusiasts: this year’s Cardboard*Con Oh Hai! Fashun Sho is proud to declare its dedication to the advancement of Artificial Cardboard Intelligence. The fashion houses of Paris, Milan, New York, and Hong Kong will turn their attention to Cardboard*Con to see the future of fashion. This exclusive event is attended by aristocrats, rock stars, fashionistas, and leaders of industry. It is a place to see and be seen, wearing cardboard. You will fall in love. You will fall out of love. You will fall down a long flight of stairs if you do not make your eye holes large enough. Boxplay is not only an incredibly fun and eco-friendly activity, but also the chic and trendy way to upcycle cardboard boxes and turn them into stylish and unique costumes fit for the runway. The 14th annual Cardboard*Con will be on March 4th, 2023. Good luck qualifying for a pass to this incredibly exclusive event, reserved for the rich and famous (unless you are a fabulous and sexy cardboard model).”
Confirmed guests will include ChatGPT and Midjourney (the Artificial Intelligence, not the moving company from Topeka), and of course William Shatner. No requests for autographs, please.
Other celebrities rumored to be headed to Cardboard*Con’s Oh Hai! Fashun Sho this year include Banksy, and a guy who claims to be Banksy.
Cardboard*Con is the first and only science fiction / fantasy convention dedicated to the art of cardboard costuming. Encompassing more than 3 Atlanta downtown hotels, Cardboard*Con will has become a tradition among all fun-loving nerds. The SECRET of Cardboard*Con is that there really isn’t a plan – you have to make it fun all by yourself, using your imagination and your manners.