Shortly after 2am in the wee hours of January 5th, 2019, officials from Cardboard*Con gathered to announce to a hushed stall at the Georgia’s Farmers Market that the theme for this year’s Cardboard*Con will be “Generic Cardboard Space Adventure”.
The Generic Cardboard Space Adventure will be the 10th installment of an ill-advised campaign to rally workaday men and women to escape the routine of their normal day by donning cardboard costumes and gallivanting around downtown Atlanta, Georgia, to the delight and confoundment of boring people who don’t know how to wear cardboard.
This spectacle began a decade ago when Cardboard Captain Drew accidentally founded the convention after claiming a DynaMax 5000 BoxCrusher Deluxe in the name of Queen Esmerelda. A sufficient number of peculiar individuals were so smitten with the event and its (theoretically) affordable tickets that the Captain went on to invent Cardboard*Cons 2, 3, and so on.
This year will be number 10, if you are counting along at home. That makes this our TENTH ANNIVERSARY!!!!
Numerous articles based on this convention have been written for various news outlets, by an unspecified quantity of journalists, in spite of their better judgment and the dolorous cries of their editorial staffs.
This year’s theme “Generic Cardboard Space Adventure” provides an extensible theme that is sufficiently open to interpretation for hipsters hoping to make a name for themselves.