Concerns have arisen in the cardboard community regarding an event that occurred at this year’s Dragon*Con. A non-verbal representative from cardboard costume supplier FedEx was revealed as a prophet in the waning days of the convention. This prophet was named “Jon” by the internet.
Many Dragon*Con nerds were new to the cardboard way of life and were overwhelmed by Jon’s intense personal magnitude. Some were so inspired by his presence that they began to leave gifts. At first it was garbage from their pockets, but soon it became garbage from their purses and knapsacks and from other nearby garbage cans.
Within hours the area around Saint Jon turned into an actual temple.
He was decorated with many arcane marks and accoutrements, and then one night he left his shrine and entered the convention itself. Several photographs showed Jon in different places. There weren’t many sightings, but they were real.
And then he was gone.
Jon had ascended into the legend and lore of Dragon*Con, becoming a saint along the way.
While Jon was technically not made from cardboard, Cardboard*Con has recognized what Saint Jon meant to the fans of Dragon*Con (as they began the penitent process of sobering up).
A Prayer for Fedex
“Let us not forget the price of the Ascension of Saint Jon du FedEx, and so let no future standee be defiled, but instead take up the paper and cardboard and put it on and wear it well. Also: goats and dragons and stuff.”Book of Cardboard Revelation, Chapter 6: Verse 9
Our thoughts and best wishes to all who witnessed the Magnificent Ascension of Saint Jon the FedEx Guy at this weekend’s Dragon Con. May his example never be forgotten when you need to print or ship.
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