Cardboard Culture

Why God Hates Cardboard

There are some out there who claim that God hates cardboard. This belief is misguided and far from the truth, but how do we address those who hate our favorite costuming material? Let’s explore the issue.

While there aren’t many people who feel that the Creator of the Universe has time to hate one specific type of structural paper product, the ones who do are quite vocal.

Photo of Mister Crazy by Frameshot – see entire photo gallery from Cardboard*Con 2019 at Anime Geek Gaming Nation (AGGN)

One of the most prolific cardboard haters goes by the name “Mister Crazy”, who often posts rants like this:

Throw off your tree killing shackles, and rejoice in the name of plastic boxes, plastic bags and plastic bubble wrap!! You fornicate and dabble with us in our plastic tape, you can’t live without us!! The strength of your blasphemy is held together by our mercy, our love, our mother’s milk! You have been lied to by a false prophet. He speaks of heresy in the name of our father, he lies for his personal exploitation in the cult of boob!! Plastic is the future… it’s waterproof, durable, and fun! DOWN WITH CARDBOARD & DOWN WITH CARDBOARD CON!!! I’ll see you heretics this weekend as I expose you for your sins in the eyes of the HEAVENLY FATHER, OUR SAVIOR, THE RiGHTOUS, EVERLASTING DUMPSTER!!!! GOD HATES CARDBOARD!!!!

Mister Crazy, hater of cardboard

The best solution for dealing with people like this is to ignore them, which is especially easy when you wear a cardboard box on your head.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *