In 2016 the Cardboard*Con Convention was transformed into an opportunity to give Cardboard Americans everywhere a voice in the world. Too long have we been marginalized, set aside, stacked, sorted, weighed, and delivered unto others who have a far greater voice than ourselves. NO MORE!! In 2016 Cardboard will have a say in the way this country is run!!!
This year we are encouraging everyone to cluster together and discuss the issues that affect us all, from the sorry state of shoddy cardboard quality coming from Eastern Europe to the way that none of the other leading party candidates will even mention the new organic inks being used (and abused) by fatcat barcode printing companies in coordination with insurgent socialist media(ist) groups. WHO WILL SAVE US???
The 2016 ProStaff & Volunteer Meeting was postponed due to a miscommunication about the location of the meeting and by the time the officers had decided upon a new location all of our volunteers had quit, so be prepared for long lines entering the Dealer’s Room again this year. Mind you, our long lines are nowhere as ridiculous as those at an Atlanta-based Labor Day science fiction convention that shall go unnamed††. Also: we have decided to not hide our vendors in a strange building comprised entirely of alcoves. Our vendors will be at an unmarked hotel 7 blocks away. Let’s see the other convention top that!!
Things got serious when cardboard-Americans gathered to decide who would reign supreme as Cardboard President! There were many campaign tricks and giant lies! The guests of a small start-up Star Track convention attempted to star in 7th Annual Cardboard*Con but we said “NO! You have to pay us!”. They so jealous.
2016: 7th Anniversary Guests
- Hollis Gillespie
- The Colonel
- Commander Chew Boxxa
- Admiral Ackboxx
- The Cardboard Ambassador
- Cardboard Drumpf
- Alfeo “Cardboard Head” Dixon
- Thomas Kerns (BoxOps)
- Crisp Ratt (no show)
2016: The Con in Review
The 7th Annual Cardboard*Con was held on Saturday, March 5th, 2016, which was also the 442nd birthday of Frederick IV, Elector Palatine. This year’s event tested the very heart of the cardboard republic as a range of unqualified candidates vied for the role of supreme leader of cardboard. Many insults were thrown. Many feelings were hurt. Much food and beer was consumed.
In a by-now-completely-anticipated reversal of the reversal of the reversal of our 2014 policy, our Executive Board have demanded that we go with a brand new mission statement of “GET OUT OF OUR FACE!!!” and increase our attendance to 150,000 – which makes it imperative that you attempt to purchase your badj by the end of February before the rate increase to $350, the most expensive con perpetrated on the science fiction community in quite some time.
And we continue to challenge other conventions in Atlanta (which shall go unnamed, DragonMoMo Con) to follow our practice of really packing the crowds in!! Despite our enormous attendance levels, Cardboard*Con is nearly able to confidently assert that you would almost likely NEVER wait more than 3 hours in a line to see that guy from that super hero movie and yet again we taunt our nemesiseses in the science-fission convention industry to follow our example of splitting before the cops show up.
- Solo cup bras were still a no-show this year (will we ever see them?)
- “Chewboxxa did NOT volunteer, he was pushed!!”
- “Tony lost a quarter, did you found it?”